


Sweet dreams

by soul_of_ice



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:56:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8636080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_of_ice/pseuds/soul_of_ice
Summary: Sometimes he wished he would forget, and sometimes he could not tell what was real.





	

Bilbo was sitting in his favourite armchair, humming a quiet melody and absently watching the fire. His tea was long cold, but he couldn’t get down to do anything about it. His mind was wandering once again and he found himself unable to stop the flow of memories. In his imagination, he was at the top of the Carrock in the arms of the only person he has ever loved. It was such a warm feeling that for a moment he forgot how much it will hurt afterwards. His face lit up with a loving smile as he closed his hazel eyes slowly falling into the sweet oblivion. Today he was lucky, he felt asleep before the cruel reality caught him up. But his sleep was disturbed with a strong knock on the door. He opened his eyes again, more than unwillingly, and got up on his feet. On his way to the door, he was cursing the unexpected visitor but opened the door anyway. And fainted immediately after it. He woke up in his armchair again, but this time he was covered with one of his thick blankets. For a moment he thought he just dreamt the whole thing, and felt a heavy sadness in his chest. But then a familiar voice said his name. –Bilbo? Are you awake? – He turned his head in a direction of the voice and almost fainted for the second time. –Thorin? - he said timidly. Thorin gave him a half smile, the one he would do anything for to see it one more time. –Are you all right? You scared me. - asked the king and took one of Bilbo´s hands in his. Somehow Bilbo found his voice again. –I scared you? You came in the middle of the night out of nowhere and say that I scared you? How is it even possible? How are you even here? How...? - his voice began to fade again and his eyes were suddenly full of tears. –I needed to see you again, I had to tell you...- Thorin hesitated for a moment. –Tell me what? - asked Bilbo with a glimpse of hope. Thorin looked at him with so many feelings in his bright blue eyes that Bilbo knew immediately. –I had to come here to tell you something that I knew for a long time already. Something that I was afraid of. I love you Ghivashel and I cannot let you go. – Bilbo stared at him for quite a long time with a blank face until Thorin started shifting. –Bilbo?- he asked cautiously. Bilbo didn't say anything, just put his hand on Thorin´s cheek and kissed him. Thorin was in awe and immediately returned the kiss. – I love you Thorin. I have always loved you.- whispered Bilbo between the kisses as Thorin pulled him into his lap. He didn’t understand how was possible that Thorin was there. He had no idea how could he be so lucky to have him in his arms, but he didn’t care. Thorin was there, safe and with him, and he had no intention to ever let him go or question his sudden arrival. –Thorin pulled away and smiled at him. –Rest now Ghivashel, we will speak when you wake up. – Bilbo smiled, tired and made himself comfortable on Thorin´s chest. He was so exhausted from the shock that it didn’t take him long, He felt asleep happier than he ever was. 

He woke up because he felt cold. –Thorin?- he called into the darkness. There was no answer just torturous silence. –Thorin?- he whispered, scared with a horrible suspicion.   
Nobody replied. He felt on the floor unable to move with heavy tears falling from his eyes. The great sorrow in his heart grew and grew until he could not breathe. He screamed loud and fierce into the night till his throat ached and he lost his voice. He loved these dreams, but he hated them as well. He didn’t know how long he would be able to live like this. He had missed him so terribly. He was lying on the floor for a moment which felt like an eternity. Then he got up and left to his bedroom. He changed his clothes and got ready for sleep. With a numb heart, he went to the bed. 

He knew it will hurt again, he knew that this pain will be there forever. But somehow he also knew he will make it, he will survive. So then when he will see Thorin once again he will have so much to tell him. He will make him proud.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi you all! Thank you so much for reading my fic. This is my first ever work on this website, so please be merciful :-). Hope you had fun reading it, cause I really enjoyed writing it. Comment and kudos are most welcome.


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